My Now.

I've learned something about myself recently. And I think we all tend to do the same thing in some sort of way. I tend to focus a lot on the future.

What will happen this weekend?

How will my date go?

Will I get all my studying I planned on doing done?

What will my classes be like next semester?

Will they be easier and less time consuming?

Should I look into adding different classes?

Will I get into my program?

Am I sure this is the career I want to have?

Will I be able to pay all my bills this month?

What will my internship be like this summer?

I get so caught up in tomorrow or this weekend or next semester or next summer that I forget about making today worthwhile. It's so important to look for the good. I could complain about so many different things that are going INCREDIBLY wrong right now - but where does that get me? Frustrated and overwhelmed.

I'm trying so hard to fix all the struggles I'm going through that I'm not even looking at all the good I've got going on now. But instead of trying to fix all the struggles...maybe I should let those struggles fix me. The point of this life is to grow and become as close to perfect as we can be.

The main reason, at least I think, that we keep looking to the future is because we hope that future won't have as many ups and downs.

I remember thinking that once I got to college I wouldn't have my parents watching my every move and I would get to experience a lot of new things. But what I didn't really consider was how difficult school would be or how paying bills each month can be a stretch with how tight money is. So when we think about having a boyfriend or graduating from college we tend to think about all the good and wonderful things that Disney is so good at helping us remember but ALL too quickly we don't even consider the new complications that'll come into our lives WITH those new and exciting phases.

so instead of trying SO hard to change the scenery and looking for the next new great thing

...just stop...

stop and shine some new light on the scenery you already have.

Focusing on overcoming the struggles we're facing now is plenty enough to think about.

Just a few of my thoughts.

looking for the sunshine

needless to say, i've been making some huge decisions recently. and i'm so grateful to say, despite the moments when i've felt like everything was falling apart, i know more than anything that everything is happening exactly as it should. that sounds so unbelievably cliche. but it's true. i have a potential unlike anyone else. and i need experiences unlike anyone else to reach that potential. and i've learned this life isn't about just getting by. when the alarm goes off in the morning i need to give TODAY my all. forget about yesterday and what could've been done. stop worrying about tomorrow...it'll come whether you stress over it or not. so do what needs to be done and keep going. and as difficult as they are, it's in those moments when i'm falling apart that i've found i grow the most.

lately i've felt like i've been really lazy. and today i realized, yep! i have been pretty lazy. but all that time has given me the opportunity to figure things out. but i think more importantly i've realized that i NEEDED that time...i kinda did fall apart and i finally think i've been able to sort through everything and figure out what i really want, and what i'm willing to do to get there.

so yes i am:

applying to the advertising program at BYU
interning at Disney World this summer
looking into different cosmetology schools
jumping out of bed no matter how late i stayed up the night before
trusting in Him

when all is said and done, this life is NOT about how much money you made or how impressive your degree is or how well you impressed the people you know. but it's definitely easy to get caught up in all that. this life IS about doing all you can to become like Christ. when i lay my head down tonight i want to know that what i did today actually mattered. i want to be happy. not the happiness found at a party or in a new pair of shoes or winning a neck and neck game. the happiness that is found through Him. whether i choose to work at an advertising agency or become a high class hair stylist...well i'll know what is right with time. but as for today or better put, as for now, i need to remember that this life is a journey, not a race. how i get there is so much more important than when. take some time to look for the sunshine in your life.

Thinning Out the Thick

So much has happened lately! It's already mid-July!

My sister Nicole had her baby! little Ryan is dang cute and I'm proud to be his Aunt!

My nephew Nathan can say my name - Danewhl - i can't believe he's 2 today!! the one on the left is Nathan!

I finally went to the doctor after being sick for about 2 weeks. Every time I eat something I feel sick. Normally I go to the doctor and they tell me it's just stress and send me on my way. This time they actually wanted to run tests. So I have a follow-up appointment on August 6th when I get back from my family vacations and they'll let me know what they found. I'm SO confident it's actually nothing. But I would love to have some idea of what is going on so that I can come closer to feeling better.

Tallan is still working hard selling pest control. A lot of the guys he works with are quitting and having a really hard time. I don't know how Tallan does it but he keeps such a great attitude about it all! I mean there are days when he gets frustrated - believe it or not he is human - but I'm so proud of how hard he works. I can't believe he is coming out for my brother's wedding on July 30th (Rexburg Temple)!! He'll only be there for about 2 days but it'll make waiting until the end of August much easier.

Life is so good to me. I think we all tend to get caught up in the thick of thin things. So I guess you could say, we need to thin out the thick. We need to realize the difficult stuff is so temporary! If we all take a step back and think about all the great things in our lives...we'll all be happier. I'm excited to see lots of family over the next two weeks - including Tallan! He's finally going to "meet the parents"! Let's hope it doesn't go over like it did in the movie. Despite the little struggles, I'm in a great place right now and I feel so blessed. As soon as I get back from my trip to: Minnesota, Ohio, and Idaho I'll post pictures!!

a gorgeous pond. there aren't enough big things in the world to keep us happy. we have to learn to appreciate the little things.

Mama Lash Comes for a Visit

Mama Lash came to Provo today! it was SO nice to see her. i got to show her my apartment and where i work and we got to talk. it's amazing how no matter how much i try to grow up my mom is still my mom. There is so much going on in our family right now and she stays so strong and calm throughout all of it. She's my mom...but she's also one of my best friends. I love her so much for that. Hopefully my brother's wedding plans go off without a glitch in Idaho. Finals start tomorrow! And this past week I lost another 2 pounds! 4 total lost now!

the end is near

today was quite the day.

i'm in a group of 4 and we've been working hard all term on our advertising project. as difficult as it was at times, it's such a great feeling knowing that if i get into the advertising program that this is what i'll be doing.

we started out with a problem and an idea and now we have our finished plan.

I love everything about it.

I've found what I love to do!

a lifestyle change

8 days ago I started a lifestyle change. some might call it a diet but it most definitely isn't. my goal is 15 pounds by fall semester. and then to maintain that weight. i've lost 2 so far which...let me tell you...stepping onto the scale and seeing that my hard work is paying OFF is so satisfying.

on the other hand...it is so difficult. i feel like i've been fasting for a week! but i know if i make this lifestyle change now and not when i'm desperately trying to lose weight it'll be so much easier.

i have the support of my roommates, coworkers, and my sweet Tallan who help me remember it's worth it and to push through this unbelievably difficult phase. i seriously had no idea it would take this much will power. but all it really comes down to is the choice. and i've made the choice, i just need to stick to it!

family updates

Katrina. Nicole. Christine.

my sisters.

today was one of those "i have so much to do, how am I going to get it all done" days. we all have them. which i'm grateful for, that way I know I'm not the only one who becomes overwhelmed time to time. I mean everyone in my family has SOMETHING that they're a little overwhelmed with. for example:

my sister Nicole is due less than a month with her first! we're all really excited for her. his name is Ryan William.

my Mom is coming through Utah soon! (on her way up to Idaho to help with my brother's wedding plans) I'm excited to see her even if it is for only a little while.

my brother Mitch is getting married next month! July 30th in the Rexburg Temple. I'm really happy for him and Alicia. They're great for each other. She can tease him back which is definitely a must.

i've definitely been missing my family lately. so i put up a picture of my sisters! i love them so much. we all have such different personalities and it's great when we're all together. i'm excited to spend time with everyone at Mitch and Alicia's wedding and then of course the Anderson Family Reunion!

Finals are next week for Spring term out here at BYU! I'm not too worried. I'm more worried about getting my final project done for my Intro to Advertising class done. It'll work out just like everything else I worry about seems to.

I can't believe this month is my one year mark for living in Utah...I know everyone says it, but I honestly can't believe it went by that fast.

Highlight of my day? Getting to talk to Tallan BEFORE the sun went down. He's working in California this summer selling pest control. He starts at 8 am and finishes around 9:30 or 10:00 pm. The long distance thing is tough but I'm actually grateful for it. Someone once told me it either tears you apart or brings you closer - more than you ever thought possible. I didn't believe long distance could bring you closer together until now. There are days when it's frustrating but just like anything difficult...it's the challenge and the struggle that makes it worthwhile and valuable. Needless to say, I love him.